Once upon a time there lived a cruel, fierce ogre named Eduardo Van Dijk. One freezing, icy winter's day, which could only be matched by the coldness of Mr. Van Dijk's heart, he decided to kidnap his innocent students and force them to conduct a science experiment at the Yellowhead Bridge. Like tiny guinea pigs in the hands of a mad scientist they were herded into a little yellow bus with absolutely no heat, to the amusement, laughter, and ridicule of their younger classmates who were allowed to stay in the nice, toasty warm school.
Practically held at gun point, he forced the students to carry water filled balloons to the middle of the rickety old bridge. Then came the biggest thrill of all, pushing the balloons off the bridge. Maniacal laughter could be heard from under the bridge as Mr. Van Dijk and his evil apprentices, Trevor and Ryan, took pictures and timed the balloons' descent.
Finally, hours later, as the students wept in their anguish, Mr. Van Dijk allowed them back into the bus where they made feeble attempts to warm themselves. They are still recovering from the trauma of their ordeal, and I beg you to pray for them that th ey may one day forget trying to find the height of the Yellowhead Bridge in a science experiment, for it may leave them emotionally scarred for life!